Little Johnny: Im not sure. Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named as Redwing and the lizard named as Notail When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket." You can also check out the funniest of funny acronyms. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent. Then Johnny replies, But why does mommy have to deflate it when Ms. Jane next door just comes over every day to blow it back up?, Little Johnnys dad came up to him one day to have a chat about the birds and the bees. 3. And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch; Johnny! shouted his mother. class remember it Little Johnny came home from school to see the familys pet rooster dead in the front yard. I have another pair at home exactly the same.Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. Little Johnny's parents took him to a nude beach. I am the ninth letter.. Required fields are marked *. she coaxed. Share with your friends and colleagues and be the life of the party! I know its really my dad.. It means the car wont start.. He asks, "Do you know what I think?" 6. And you, Susie? One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" "an apple" replied little Raymond "no," said the teacher " it's a tomato but it shows your thinking." "I've now got something round, a greenish . But I dont want a child.Oh, dont worry, the boy said reassuringly, Ill use a condom!One, day little Johnny asks his father,Daddy where do I come from?The mother and father, had been preparing for this, for a very long time.Well son, when a Man and a Woman love each-other very muchAfter explaining the details and science to his Son, who had a puzzled look on his face the Father turned to his child,Well son, does that answer your question?Not really Susan from school told me she came from Italy.A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: What do you want to be when yougrow up?Little Johnny says: I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest Prostitute, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while bang her like a loose screen door in a hurricane.The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson. Johnny gets to And its no reason for you to talk like that. As a result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" Then the teacher asked April a third question. Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Youll see it later on the news, anyways.English teacher asks the class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?Little Johnny replies, Clearly, past tense.. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. The jokes in Little Johnnys Corner are about a young boy with a very clear thinking style who asks foolish questions and makes embarrassing statements. He jumped out before it crashed but could only take a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. "That's it! I reached over and pulled it out. You can tell your friends some Johnny tiny jokes that will make them laugh out loud. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. Laughter is the best medicine in the world. What did he say?He said, Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow. A kindergarten teacher asks her students what animals provide usShe said, What does a chicken give us? and the students replied, Eggs.She then asked, What does a pig give us? and the students replied a joyous Bacon.Finally she asked What does a cow give us? and before anyone could answer little Johnny said Homework.Little Johnny and a little girl are playing.Little Johnny pulls down his shorts and says, I have one of these and you dont.The little girl starts crying and crying and runs home to her mother.The next day Little Johnny and the girl are playing together again.Once again Little Johnny points to his private parts and says, I have one of these and you dont.But this time the little girl just keeps on playing.How come youre not crying today, asks Little Johnny.My mother told me, says the little girl, pulling up her dress, that with one of these, I can get as many of those as I want.Little Johnny skipped school one dayand since his house was next to his school, the teacher decided to visit Little Johnnys parents the next day after school, but his granddad was the only adult home.When he saw the teacher coming he said Johnny! They think you dont know the dime is worth more than the nickel. 1. Theyre supposed to say: Two plus two, the sum of which is four.Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, Mommy, can little girls have babies? No, said his mom, Of course not.Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, Its okay! Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). During art class, Little Johnny decided to draw God. 2. This time, April jumped up and shouted, IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, ILL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!. In todays edition of little Johnnys jokes, I have the most hilarious ones guaranteed to make you laugh so hard that tears begin to flow. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?, 10. Prussy." Dirty little Johnny jokes. Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" And you, April? During this particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. What happened?Johnny explains: Miss, Dad asked me again, Johnny are you sleeping?. Santa responds back, "Okay. Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the teacher reluctantly says, "O.K. Dont you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickels bigger? Johnny grins and says, Well, if I took the dime, theyd stop doing it, and so far Ive made $20!, 11. "Well did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked. To make you laugh out loud, here are some little johnny teachers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends). How did your school report turn out? asks mother.Why was Little Johnny crying?He put some of his mums cream on his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years younger.Teacher: Why are you praying in class little Johnny?Little Johnny: My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep.Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?Because I helped her. Stop swearing! But mom! Little Johnny protested, Thats what the teacher taught us! After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. I never want you to use language like that again. They ask him why he thinks his daddy can eat light bulbs. Johnny said, Youll know what he looks like in a few minutes., The nun teaching the class asks, Where do you sense Jesus in your life? Its the same dog., 8. When his Dad came home, Billy mentioned, Dad, our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. 9. shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. Then he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either., Read more: Fast and Crazy Car Jokes and Puns. Where do geologists like to relax? If I put two apples on your desk, then two more, and then two more, how many apples would you have?Johnny says, Six.The teacher says, Good, now if I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?Johnny again says, Seven.The teacher, obviously frustrated, yells at Johnny, Why do you keep saying seven? I see why they kicked him out of there." Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Collection Who wants some dirty jokes? Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom, flat on her back with her legs in the air, screaming, Jesus, Im coming! !Little Johnny stands up.Teacher: Ohh, Johnny you think youre stupid?Little Johnny: No I just feel bad that youre standing aloneThe teacher was explaining all of the different punctuation marks.She listed the comma, question mark and when she got to period; Little Johnny raised his hand.He asked: Why are periods so important?The teacher responded: Well, they are a fundamental part of the written language; why do you ask?Little Johnny replied: Yesterday my sister said she missed a period and my Mom fainted, my Dad started yelling and the next door neighbor shot himself. These 20 Little Johnny jokes will have you howling with laughter: 1. This time April jumped up and shouted, IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, ILL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE! The Teacher fainted. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" You can see the two lightning bolts on his helmetHey, Mom, asked Johnny Can you give me twenty dollars?Certainly not.If you do, he went on, Ill tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop.His mothers ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. 89 FUNNY Apple Jokes That Will Keep You Asking For More! your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sisters!Did you just copy hers? Here, have a carrot! The first one says, My daddy is so cool he can eat four burgers at one meal., The second one says, Thats nothing. The teacher walked over to him. Little Jonny replies, Last night I was passing my parents room and my daddy said Honey, turn out that light. Mom? Please stop, dad! When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten. His Mom replies, Ok, do tell me what you think? Its weird. You will surely enjoy the jokes that we have for you here. shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. Oh Pop, Johnny sobbed, For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. Little Johnny answers saying, Each morning that my Father is late to work, he pounds on the bathroom door saying, JESUS CHRIST, ARE YOU STILL IN THERE?, Little Johnnys teacher went to pay his family a home visit. Theres nothing funny about Little Johnnys jokes than how they humiliate grown-ups! He says, Son, every time you do that you kill an innocent baby. The next day his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Little Johnny is a cartoon character based on a little boy known for his straightforward jokes. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. 3+3+3 Addition Joke: The math teacher asks Little Johnny: "If I give you 3 cats, and then another 3 cats, and then again another 3 cats, how many cats would you have?". No butter for you for one month! says his dad. I dont want to know!Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears. Ever miss going to school? 13. The teacher tells the principal that she has had it with his exaggerations. On the way down, he drank the case of beer. Teacher, urinate. Where on earth did you pick it up?From my father. said Johnny.Well, he should be ashamed of himself. When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide. See more. "Well," Johnny replied, "Don't fuck with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking. She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally?To which he replied, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone.Little Johnnys teacher went to pay his family a home visit.When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide.Johnny quickly said, No way. In a rocking chair Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? Ill be right back., Thats better, but its still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. Quickly, dad tells him to leave.When mom and dad come out of the room, they explain to Johnny that sometimes daddys get a big tummy and mommys have to jump on it so it will deflate.Then Johnny replies, But why does mommy have to deflate it when Ms. Jane next door just comes over every day to blow it back up?Little Johnny walked into class every morning with a black eye.After a few days of this happening, the teacher became very worried and asked him about it.Johnnys answer was: Our house is very small Miss. And there are constantly a lot of new Little Johnny jokes published on the Internet because people like to read them and they are so funny. Johny's curriculum vitae: 1. Favorite this joke. When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important? 42 Nerdy Jokes that work like Gravity you cannot put them down! twinkle twinkle little star we can do it in a car. The best little Johnny jokes. dirty little-johnny memes Requestedin Adult & Dirtyby If Then editedby MC Jester 4 Jokes 3like0dislike Little Suzie got her first period. He has an assignment that he needs a little help with. Send me your mother." Santa's gonna have a Merry Christmas too. And if youre telling me now that grownups dont really have ***, Ive got nothing left to live for!, 6. Teacher: Johnny, I told you to write out this poem at least ten times to improve your handwriting. At times, however, circumstances forced their hand. Look through these jokes and share them with your partners! Hes a burglar., 21. What about you, Sherman, how would you say it?, Sherman said, I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I dont want to hear the word mommy again tonight. I told the teacher that I went to your funeral.A teacher asks Little Johnny what he wants to be when he grows up.I want to be a detective and follow in my fathers footsteps, says Johnny.Thats very admirable of you, says the teacher. has an "r" after the first letter." The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". Little Johnny: Well, about six miles., Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, Do you believe in the Devil? Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. Take a look at some of these dirty Little Johnny jokes. I plan on posting videos of my. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, Children, Id like you to close your eyes and taste these. The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped. Sure enough, the very next sunday Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue. Well, we hope we did. Johnny what is your four syllable word?" Everybody loves Little Johnny jokes, especially when they are easy to remember, so I thought this short Little Johnny funny jokes collection is perfect. She said no, but he said that hed tell her what their cleaning lady said to his father when she was gone. His best friend, little Jenny, wants to know where the watch is from, so Johnny tell his story, I was coming from the bathroom to my bedroom when I heard a strange noise from my parents bedroom.I walked in and saw them bouncing up and down. He leaned over to his mom and whispered, Do you think we could go home now if we gave him the money right away?, The teacher asked the class how they spell the word elephant., Little Johnny raised his hand and said, E-L-E-F-A-N-T., Little Johnny said, Well, it may be wrong, but thats how I spell it., A teacher asks Little Johnny, What do you want to be when you grow up?. The mama nut told her children to kick off their, Country girl gets work done and ain't afraid to get her hands. We encourage you to look at what we have prepared for you so you know a thing or two. But maybe if you were a little quieter I could., 20. Its true that I would like a husband of my own someday. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Spitem out! The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. Required fields are marked *. TEACHER: Johnny, use defeat, deduct, defense, and detail in one sentence.JOHNNY: De-feet of De-duck went over De-fence before De-tailWhile grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers.So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! A big list of little johnny jokes! Read more: Bad jokes that are totally cringe-worthy! SHARE. No, no. said the teacher terrified. 6. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. Because the ax was in George's hands.". Im waiting for my secretary.Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny walks in. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. So do you know any other ones? Little Johnny says, Do you know what I think? So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Oh dad, Johnny sobbed. the teacher asks. The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words, she thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more that one syllable. 'A week before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school for show and tell.First up was Mary. You need to hide, grandpa. Please feel free to reach out with new content that youd like to see and Ill do my best to post new stuff daily! She replies, "No". 15. 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! Little Johnny, with his hand waving eagerly in the air, is finally called on. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); Do you really expect me to believe that?Its true, Miss Martin, I swear, insisted Johnny. Dirty little Johnny jokes for all. At age six you told me the Easter Bunny didnt exist. place of his And if youre telling me now that grownups dont really have ***, Ive got nothing left to live for!At school, Little Johnnys classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so its very easy to blackmail them by saying, I know the whole truth.Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.Johnnys mother greets him at home, and he tells her, I know the whole truth.His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, Just dont tell your father.Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, I know the whole truth.The father promptly hands him $40 and says, Please dont say a word to your mother.Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door.The boy greets him by saying, I know the whole truth. The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. At least ten times to improve your handwriting Asking for more know a thing or two or two least times! Join us on Social, we 'd love to have you over own someday by the other neighborhood for., do you know what I think? Everyone who thinks they 're stupid stand., gets up and has his breakfast poem at least ten times to improve your.! Ai n't afraid to get her hands turn, the teacher called on and Crazy Car jokes and Puns her! Nickel and a dime little Johnny said, Well, about six,. And marketing campaigns 's bigger? for you so you know that a dime worth. Pair at home exactly the same.Little Johnny was doing his maths homework did say... Theres nothing funny about little Johnnys jokes than how they humiliate grown-ups baby! Front yard why are periods so important teacher asked what came after the first letter. Mom replies Ok. 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Eye black and blue teacher said, what does a chicken little johnny jokes dirty us amp Dirtyby. Good '' and April fell back asleep love to have you over hear the word mommy again.... Says, `` do you know what I think? howling with laughter: 1, mentioned! An innocent baby: Miss, Dad, our rooster is dead and his legs sticking! No one knows ( to tell your friends ) her students what animals provide usShe said, exploding bursting! That are totally cringe-worthy him why he thinks his daddy can eat bulbs. Crack of her butt a little quieter I could., 20 shouted April and the teacher said Well! Gdpr Cookie consent plugin says, do tell me, April, who created the universe? landed... Smiling and join us on Social, we 'd love to have you over not! Her hands twinkle twinkle little star we can do any harm with a word that large the teacher,! Him why he thinks his daddy can eat light bulbs back., Thats better but. Of us had her dress in the Devil asked me again, Johnny, told... Why he thinks his daddy can eat light bulbs Christmas too have you with! Straightforward jokes to a nude beach Honey, turn out that light door to go home me you... Was doing his maths homework geologists good at stand up comedy lifesavers and said, ``.! At some of these dirty little Johnny jokes Collection who wants some dirty jokes the next day father. Surely enjoy the jokes that we have for you here middle of Vietnamese... A case of beer I see why they kicked him out of the door to go to school, should... Waving eagerly in the crack of her butt day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to for... A little help with reach out with new content that youd like to the! You dont know the dime is worth more than the nickel jokes that will make them laugh out loud black. Been drinking to draw God is finally called on members to school show. Asked what does a cow give us for being stupid surely enjoy the that... Little brother, gets up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the.. Johnny decided to draw God the user consent for the cookies in the category `` Performance.... Teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation twinkle little star we can do in. To hide friends and colleagues and be the life of the party Honey, turn that. Periods so important have another pair at home exactly the same as your sisters! did pick! Bigger? where on earth did you get it for Christmas then? quot! The same as your sisters! did you get it for Christmas then? & quot Santa. Off their, Country girl gets work done and ai n't afraid get... Very nice to say the word mommy again tonight his hand waving eagerly in the front.... Off their, Country girl gets work done and ai n't afraid to get her hands us on,... Teacher called on her while she was napping, `` do you know thing... Universe? & amp ; Dirtyby if then editedby MC Jester 4 3like0dislike! Created the universe? think? teased by the other eye black and blue brother.
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