Meanwhile, a family member will block off evil spirits by marking each corner of the coffin with a knife. Christmas Card Etiquette After a Death in the Family. Theological and Cultural Foundation., www.macsphere.mcmaster.ca/bitstream/11375/10557/1/fulltext.pdf. The right words can bring comfort during the holidays. They often light an incense stick and bow one or three times before the casket. Built in 1999, the three-story Fo Guang Shan Buddhist Columbarium is the largest Buddhist pagoda in the United States. At the time of the funeral, the shaman reads the rites, closes the coffin lid, and departs to the grave dug by the descendants the day before. Buddhist and Catholic beliefs shape death views in their own right. In Vietnamese culture, actions are important. Meanwhile, the music band changes to another tune to commemorate the pass-away. With a slightly melancholy, quiet and gentle tone, the Funeral Music also helps to ease the atmosphere, reminding people of their fond memories of the deceased. Twitter. Be mindful of the dress code. One of the greatest fears in Vietnam is that the dead won't find peace in the afterlife - that they'll be left to wander as tortured spirits. Many families will bring flowers to the funeral service or visitation and place them around the casket. Once the body is inside the coffin, a monk or a shaman will offer prayers, surrounded by the family. We believe reflecting on our mortality can help us lead more meaningful lives. There may be a meditation period and chanting. Dam Gio preparations begin months before the actual day of celebration. After the body has been interred, the funeral procession returns to the home where a meal is served. For example, Vietnamese Buddhists pray for the deceased for 49 days. Traditionally, children of the deceased dress in white gauze clothes and matching hats. form. Spirits are invited to visit a household through prayers. Now that youre familiar with some of the traditions youll encounter at a Vietnamese funeral, its helpful to know how to behave. In the past, a Vietnamese funeral could last up to a month or more. We follow a strict editorial process to provide you with the best content possible. Depending on the position of each person in the family, their mourning time for the deceased is different, representing a long-standing civilization with hierarchical order and strict rules. TOP 6 THINGS ABOUT VIETNAMESE FUNERALS TO KNOW, Vietnamese funerals: Vietnamese death rituals, Vietnamese funeral attire for those who come to the funeral, Vietnamese funeral music according to Northern customs, Music in Vietnamese funerals in accordance to Southern customs, Vietnamese funeral superstitions: Do-tom-ami. We'll help you get your affairs in order and make sure nothing is left out. Heres some more useful information before you attend. First, the body is cleaned using a towel with water infused with fragrant leaves and rice wine. This is an important tradition in Vietnam that can be traced back many centuries. The main Catholic traditions observed in a Vietnamese funeral include: Most funeral rites are performed in the presence of the body. Then, the head of the family will thank guests and ask them to join the procession to the final resting place. The family lights incense daily to remember their loved one. Meanwhile, family members announce the passing of their loved one to relatives and friends. Wondering what rituals will take place in a Vietnamese funeral? Out of respect for this, you can light an odd number of incense or candles as part of your offering.). It is located at the eastern edge of mainland Southeast Asia , with an area of 311,699 square kilometres (120,348 sq mi) and population of 96 million, making it the world's sixteenth-most populous country . Keen to explore the world? There are customs followed depending on the familys Buddhist or Catholic preference. Be sure to find out the familys religious preferences before attending. Therefore, Vietnamese funeral clothes are also focused on, appropriately selected to show respect and remembrance for the deceased, and at the same time clearly distinguish roles and relationships between family members. Vietnamese bishops recently released a set of guidelines focusing on ancestor worship for Catholic families to follow. According to Vietnamese funeral customs, the daughter or / and daughter-in-law of the dead person needs to wear a banana braided belt, let their hair down and not wear sandals. One of the most common things to see when visiting funerals in Vietnam is the wreath of flowers, with the sender's name on it and their goodbyes to the deceased. It's advisable to learn what to expect if you plan to attend a Vietnamese funeral. Family members might try to crawl into the casket to be closer to the deceased. Designed specifically with the cultural needs of Asian families in mind, the Hua Yuan Ceremonial Complex includes two modern chapels. Most funerals in Vietnam consist of three stages. In fact, incense burning is a prominent part of Vietnamese funerals. Find comforting things to say and know what to avoid when you reach out to someone who has had a miscarriage. In a Vietnamese Catholic home, you will find altars to God and the deceased next to each other. Depending on the way they died it will be a joyous or somber occasion. If you have been invited to a Dam Gio, its customary to arrive with a. . Another depraved custom of Vietnamese funeral is do-tom-ami - burying babies alive with their deceased mothers, often in hidden villages in the Central Highlands and some central provinces. Existence is a continuum stretching through birth, a life spent in tangible form on Earth, followed by death and a spirit existence in another realm for a further two or three generations. After that, the family will cover the deceaseds face with a white sheet and light up candles next to where he or she rests. Votive paper symbolizes paper money, and coins are dropped along the way to the cemetery. Some believe that those who fail to show proper respect to their parents and ancestors could receive bad luck and misfortune during their lives. [2] It is generally understood that certain ghosts are people who have undergone unnatural, premature, painful or violent deaths . At the end of the process, a rebirth occurs in the form of a god, demigod, human, animal, hungry gh, 24 Caring Things to Say to Someone Who Had a Miscarriage. Because the celebration is so closely tied to honoring and respecting elders, while at a Dam Gio celebration, it's essential to give preference in food, seating, and conversation to anyone older than you. All belongings of the deceased will be burnt for him or her to use in the afterlife. It is like commemorating a president's first 100 days in office. Vietnamese people believe it is a bad misfortune to die away from home. A typical Dam Gio basket may contain tea, coffee, fruit, crackers, candy, wine, and snacks. Each wreath has different types of flowers and colors, maybe just for the look, but also has deep meanings, especially the monochromatic Vietnamese funeral traditions flowers. The casket is placed in the main living area. Saying something thoughtful and empathetic can show your support, but it can be a c, What to Text Someone Who Is Grieving to Comfort Them, Although you might not feel like texting is the best way to reach out to comfort someone who's grieving, sometimes it's the most appropriate way to offer your condolences. Close relatives are invited for the two days of celebration, and they stay at the house of the host to help with preparations for the last day, which is most important. 2002-2023 LoveToKnow Media. Ethnic groups, like the Hmong, slaughter cows to make sure the deceased travels into the afterlife. First, the family will offer a simple meal to the deceaseds altar. The day when death takes place is incredibly important. If you have been invited to a Dam Gio or are looking to learn more about what this ceremony entails, youve come to the right place. It is usually sewn with fine fabric, yellow and red silk, embroidered with metal thread, on which are written the names of Buddha, Seven Buddhas, suttas, and couplets. English Deutsch Franais Espaol Portugus Italiano Romn Nederlands Latina Dansk Svenska Norsk Magyar Bahasa Indonesia Trke Suomi Latvian Lithuanian esk . People dont speak about death every day, but we all acknowledge the importance of this event. Most religious Vietnamese are Buddhists. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. It is also important to make sure you don't wear any expensive clothing or accessories with bright colors, patterns, or logos. As a unique part of culture and one of the oldest customs of the country, Vietnamese funerals include many strict procedures, rites and regulations, in terms of costumes, music, food, etc. You can show respect through gifts or words of condolence, depending on your ability and relationship to the family. According to the locals belief, the soul may get lost without this trace. The Vietnamese funeral you attend in the U.S. may have some of the traditions above or all of them. subject to our Terms of Use. Traditionally, an oil lamp is lit and placed underneath the casket in a nurturing gesture to provide the spirit a warm resting place. Death is a logical next step for Vietnamese elders that lived a full, happy life. They dress the deceased in their finest clothes for the vigil. The eldest son leads the procession, carrying a framed photo of the deceased. Vietnamese believe a persons soul wanders after death. Typically, the family plays a key role in shaping a ceremony, as do monks or priests. It begins with the preparation of the deceased's body that will be on display at the family home until it is time for the funeral. Dam Gio altar decorations include fresh, bright-colored flowers in beautifully decorated vases and two candleholders in each corner of the altar. As with all Asian funerals, honoring tradition, customs and heritage is fundamental to Vietnamese ceremonies. While Vietnamese mothers are expected to rest indoors without taking a shower for a month after giving birth. The Witness Crematorium at Rose Hills accommodates this preference. The family places the body in the coffin on the first day, relatives and friends visit on the second, and on the third, they bury or cremate the body (cremation is a traditional Buddhist approach, but customs differ among families). One important aspect of their culture is how they deal with death. Catholic funeral customs, like a mass and wake, are interwoven with Buddhist protocols to create a unique funeral experience. In modern times, thanks to the education of the government, this custom has disappeared, but its horror remains forever in the hearts of people living in that period. Hopefully, the above information has helped you better understand the Vietnamese funeral traditions. | Terms | Privacy Policy. During the afternoon, food and offerings are arranged in front of an altar, and food is served on the table. Vietnamese funeral flowers can be fake or real, most commonly a combination of the two, arranged in full circles, topped with a ribbon on which the senders condolences are written. For extended family and friends, formal black clothes are a respectful choice. Therefore, since 2015, the local government has carried out many educational activities to help the Mong people here change in accordance with new cultural lifestyles and fine customs of the nation. . Once this ritual is done, everyone begins to eat and socialize, talking about their ancestors and eventually moving on to conversations about their lives and current events. Friends and neighbors do not need to dress like family members of the deceased, but you should choose elegant and simple outfits (black, white colors) to show respect. Shorts or dresses below the knee and shirts that don't expose too much work perfectly. Many Vietnamese traditions and customs are based around their ancestral beliefs. For some, it is customary to witness the cremation. Csikszentmihalyi, M. Confucius. Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, Stanford, 31 Mar. The first Vietnamese believed they were the descendants of a dragon and an angel. During this time, the worshiping ceremony (le cau sieu) - one of the most important Vietnamese funeral rituals, is held every week until the seventh week, i.e. Keep reading to find out what to expect at a funeral in this beautiful Southeast Asian country. forms. Image: SteveAndNoelle Preparing The Body Facebook. If this guide brought up thoughts of your own funeral planning, cake can help. Instagram. Another important aspect to remember during Dam Gio is what to say on a death anniversary. Because the celebration is so closely tied to honoring and respecting elders, while at a Dam Gio celebration, its essential to give preference in food, seating, and conversation to anyone older than you. On the second day, visitors come to pay their respects. instead of hanging a colorful background panel. Some Vietnamese believe in further preparations of the body by placing three coins and a small amount of rice in the deceased's mouth. In fact, due to Confucianism, families are to set aside a three-year mourning period when parents pass away to show the proper amount of respect and honor. Family members take turns sitting with the body while it is in the home. In Vietnamese culture, it is believed that after death, the soul remains in limbo for 49 days before moving on to the afterlife. Loss is hard. This link will open in a new window. Many people are carried to the hospital if they are sick. Silence is the decorum expectation unless the family speaks to you, and then you should speak with a low, soft tone. (For example, red is considered a color for happier and joyful occasions, so sending red flowers wouldn't be a good idea.) Instead of celebrating individual birthdays, families join together in death anniversaries. Bring a gift such as white flowers. Hoang, Dieu-Hien. Culture & Arts 0 (+84) 989 383 767 Culture & Arts Ho Chi Minh City Hanoi Attractions Hoi An Halong Bay Sapa Hue Da Nang Nha Trang Phu Quoc Island Mekong Delta More. If you're attending a Buddhist funeral, you're likely to participate in different traditions, or to at least bear witness to them. In the Vietnamese culture, remembering the death of a loved one and conducting a death ceremony is a filial act. The family will choose a lucky day for their loved ones funeral, so prepare to have a flexible schedule when planning to attend. Instead, youll most likely hear monks chanting throughout the funeral. Death and Dying in Vietnamese Culture In Vietnamese culture, religion dictates some of the rituals in the dying and bereavement process. After three years, a completion mass is heldsymbolic of the souls passage as an ancestor into the afterlife. Whether you are planning a traditional tribute, would like to set up an extended visitation or are looking for cemetery property with positive feng shui, we will work with you for meaningful and beauty. We believe reflecting on our mortality can help us lead more meaningful lives. German death tra, The Amish are a unique people with their own distinct culture and traditions. The men slaughter larger animals such as cows and pigs and take care of chores for the day. The duplicate funeralis a phenomenon where a family member dies on the same day, or still in the mourning time of the person who previously died, especially in the period after 3 days or 49 days of burial. 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